pink frock and jacket at Winterfest

My two cents' worth

scribblings from Facebook, Flickr, and other odd media


Jan 2011: I passed along an interesting take on past prejudice, from the local Sun tabloid - A German Jewish leader has gently said that, despite respect for Holocaust victims, it's time to move on. So, to paraphase his statement, may I suggest that: The role of the victim is not enough - transgenderism is much, much more. On the one hand, it's nice to see how some of my friends are doing with this trans thing, but on the other hand, it's kind of scary to see how solipsistic one can get when so deeply involved in this special-interest group! Power to all you folks, but remember that nobody cisgendered can relate to our ways, needs, and interests, and NEITHER SHOULD THEY! We do this for ourselves, first and foremost - however, there's nothing more boring than hearing about another's unhappy times. Think and speak of the good ones; our gender variance is empowering, liberating, and positive, just a bit more of an adventure in the middle of this life we live.
 

Feb 2012: I get regular offers to work in Fort McMurray, home of multibillion-dollar oilsands development, various other oilpatch jobs, ensuing Totally Sick wages, and you know what? F**k Fort Mac!!! Living in camps with idiots shouting into their stupidphones? Working in prison conditions with unskilled immigrants who paid good money for their tickets in Ontario? Yes, I should be making hay for my oncoming dotage, work work work, but as an eastern mind, I feel low-stress prioritizing, involving such activities as crossdressing as often as possible, throwing as much high-velocity lead as I can manage, broadcasting Attitude all over the web, and loving as much as we can - sorry, Ghod didn't create us to work our butts off!
 

March 2013: These days, when I show up at events in boy mode, people tease me about "not being pretty today". Sometimes it's a chuckle, sometimes it's "Yes! Another blow against the narrow-minded!" and occasionally, someone calls me Shae and it makes me smile. This is Just Me, and if some redneck-asshole who has no love life starts ragging away on me, then I'll just be sad for him - he'll never know how good things can get, if you make it happen. And ignore him, 'cos I'm having the time of my life. None of this would have happened without trans pals, Milady, Himself, and a real grassroots community awareness of genderqueer reality. Enjoy whoever you are, y'all!
 

Jan 2014: My fave homily is that "there are two kinds of people in the world; those who say they can, and those who say they can't - and they're both right". I just picked up on something just as apropos - "There are 3 types of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch what happened, and those who wonder WTF just happened..."
 

July 2014: Oh yeah - absolutely nobody batted an eyelash at the tranny in their midst during several of the gigs I've attended or performed at. Our "safe" places are great, but do remember, my trans peers, the rest of the world is as much fun. Join in the party, go to a ball game, check out a new restaurant, shop the antique stores, just Get Out There! We're people, not victims.
 

August 2014: Canada's National Firearms Association, the Canadian Shooting Sports Association, Responsible Firearms Owners of Alberta, and the National Rifle Association are all outfits I'm a card-carrying member of, and one thing they all hold in common is "Refuse To Be A Victim". Inasmuch as there's a trend within our trans community towards blaming society for the slings and arrows we're forced to undergo, with concomitant "you gotta listen to me whine about my hard life", I'd like to point out that you're only a victim if you choose to be. I find it difficult to lend credence to this "don't use the word 'tranny', it makes me feel bad about myself". After all, most of us are ambulatory and healthy, with more than a smattering of brain cells, so, really, folks, if you lay trips on me for not sympathizing about perceived past injustices, then I'll definitely give you something to cry about. Running out of patience with the Politically Correct ultra-minority!
 

Nov 2014: ...the Transgender Day Of Remembrance vigil: Mickey from the Pride Centre of Edmonton ran a good show; elder Dean Brown gave a short benediction, Jan Buterman commented, Ivan Coyote shared some personal memories of a good transpal, several of us stood and read off the names of this year's trans victims-of-violence, and gentle socializing ensued thereafter - seems that I know several folks in the trans community!

One thing that struck me was how many of these victims were from Brazil and other Latin countries, where certain militarized government officials are in the habit of driving up to a site and using it for machine-gun training - with the transfolk still inside. Some reacted with tears; I'm saddened, angry, and were I to comment overmuch on my own feelings, the government here would take away my guns. Powerless to do anything about it other than get into the front lines (not gonna happen), raise awareness, and be thankful that I live in Canada, where people like us don't have to worry about it. As much...

Nov 2014: "Identity" is a buzzword for the socially inept, also used by self-absorbed, self-pitying, self-indulgent, arrogant, confused, privileged white trannies.
 

June 2015: Events over the first months of 2015 have conspired to make me see myself, more and more, as seriously trans. Yes, without drugs or surgery. It's turning into an interesting ride; thank heaven my people just accept me for who I am. Anyone else doesn't approve? Outta luck!

Still, some fool just remonstrated with my overt lack of sympathy and concomitant lack of "respect" for my trans peers. Let's get it straight: Respect is earned. There's no such thing as a free lunch, so you can get to work on your goals rather than whining. Only headcases pull that sort of nonsense, and they have no credibility because, well, they're crazy.

suicide watch

This isn't the first time I've been accused of promoting suicide in our oh-so-emotionally-fragile dysphoric colleagues. Next time you decide to moan about your sad lot in life, kindly remember there's lots of third-worlders without water, fleeing war, or trying to cross the Mediterranean in crappy boats. Those are real problems. Closer to home, if you're able-bodied, get three squares a day and have a roof over your head, I fail to see your reason for crying. Hell, some trannies even have taxpayer money for the op! Get a job, step away from your filter bubble on social media, make things happen. With all the stuff in the news about Jenner, more people are getting in tune, learning that it`s not right to call us down for being different. Fuck'em if they can`t take a joke and are scared of us - "transphobia" means fear of the transgendered.

Why do most of the womenfolk I spend time with, see transwomen's angst as a strictly male phenomenon? As in, "suck it up, you sissy!" - no, I'm not making this up. Genetic women have it far worse than their trans equivalents, always have since the paternalists dumped the mothers and healers. If a woman rabbits on about this sort of thing, she's a ditz or a headcase, but if a transwoman chirps, we're all supposed to back off and be kinder? Again, whining about one's sad times means you're giving power to being negative. And stop being offended with labels and pronouns; be happy that you're simply accepted! There's worse things to be called than "tranny"; either you get over it, or embrace it, but being offended by the word means you need to lighten up.
 

On a Crusade!

August 2015: A discussion on getting out enfemme: Katie Wilson said in Flickr's Just Class group, "Going beats wishing you had! Second chances disappear rapidly..." Very much agree. Carpe diem, always. Excuses I see and hear aren't vaguely acceptable: "Family is staying with me. Life changes keep me from getting out from hiding. A break is as good as a rest."

Yikes! I do understand not wanting to get out, but really, it looks like trannies all hew to the notion that we're here on sufferance, and need to keep perpetuating this notion that being in the closet is a good thing. With Jenner's perambulations through the norteamericano media, we're right on the cusp of a time when we can step out and be accepted. Time to stop hiding - a pal came out to her family at a lake cabin weekend, and had a box of fireworks for after her announcement; the family took it very well, and now this lady has her whole life ahead of her, enfemme as she wants to be!

On the one hand, I've had over a month of doing the yardwork mostly in drab, and afternoons/evenings enfemme, with six days on the range in filth-wear. On the other hand, it's turned into less of a Fun Time than simply someone living their life, in my case being a fashion victim. On the gripping hand (and who here has read Niven?), I find it interesting to see how many people in the world ignore the oddity of a tranny in their midst, choosing instead to interact normally and continue on with their lives. And this is in EDMONTON, redneck capital of Canada, folks! All the trans community's back-patting over recent mainstream media coverage will go for naught if we don't stand up and celebrate, and that does mean overcoming the fear of the naysayers. Bob Marley said it well: "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

Judging from the tone of most commentary, I'd say most of us white, male, middle-class, middle-aged trannies are far more interested in keeping what privileges we've earned - and power to you all! Still, inaction in the face of this cultural bullying lets future generations of crossdressers continue with shame and fear that they've not earned. I heartily despise bullies, having dealt with far too many as a short kid. You want to leave that as a legacy, your choice. I kinda feel good that so many of my peers give me props over doing what I damn-well-please, and no hiding about it, and even better when I see them getting out, finding their space, and doing things they never thought about!

Understand, there's more and more young folks doing the gender-fluid thing, males successfully playing good rocker-girls and party animals as well as some insane drag art, and of course the whole drag-king phenomenon that's intricately tied with gender. Some transition. Some older types like me chase the ring and occasionally make things happen - or have it happen to me. It feels better than watching it on television.
 

August 2015: So. A Halloween costume company is selling a Jenner outfit. Looks silly. Now half my pals want me to sign a petition to stop it. Milady sneers at the tranny sissies whining, and I'm highly amused with the situation - it's okay to mock, say, Donald Trump, but 'cos Caitlyn identifies as trans, we're all supposed to bend over backwards to be liberal bleeding hearts. NOT!!! It's what happens to celebrities; they're fair game. I can't agree with any action that reinforces the "poor, poor, pitiful me" mindset; strength comes from within first. Trans lives matter, but not if they're so weak that they suicide after a few bumps in the road - the same ones I encountered in the 70s. It's called evolution, and that's a good thing.

My coping mechanism is not sweating the small stuff, and realizing that it's ALL small stuff. I never got cut any slack for being tiny when I was younger, and I still deal with that. Get overwrought over self-perceived hurtful behaviour? There's more important things to worry about than these white, middle-class first-world "problems". Grow a set of whatever gender's gonads that you want, or the rest of the world will continue to see us as a gang of self-absorbed whiners. Learn how to shoot, volunteer with the disabled, clean up a highway - this helps to make the world a better place.
 

September 2015: Comments from two cisgendered, aware and open-minded friends:

"I have no problems with the LGBT-etc alphabet soup, but you need to learn to blend the ingredients better."

"The trans community in entirety is small enough and misunderstood enough as it is. Why spread it to the inside? Has anyone used the term TrannyNazi yet?"

There's getting along with your peers, and there's getting along with the world at large. Both are essential. I hold no truck with transsexuals asserting the only way to be termed "transgender" (or to use the word "tranny") is to take hormones and get surgery; and this is what certain TS-identified locals tell me repeatedly. Folks, I'm entitled to call myself whatever-I-want; I'm out there daily, presenting my fugly tranny self, with a smile and pleasant attitude.

I've seen far too many of our people lose their minds over the drugs, and it's a regular event to have one send me a nasty email denouncing my ways - and then block any answers. Thinking you're better than other transfolk because you've given up a gender is arrogant and unjustified - after all, womenfolk won't see a transwoman as female; at best, most see a curiosity and someone Different, and at worst, "someone who doesn't have a clue what being a woman is". Milady ran into one years ago who blithely told her all about being female; it didn't go over well..
 

October 2015: I see some American employers are now giving transsexuals benefits for their transitions. Not a ton of people in one company would need this, so it's not too expensive. I'd still rather the Alberta government didn't get into this; the NDP can't manage money effectively at the best of times. Facial Feminization Surgery, depilation, and breast augmentation all fall under the cosmetic surgery umbrella, and that's definitely NOT something that should be funded. It's surely awful that alcoholics, smokers and the obese are soaking up so much healthcare coin, BUT: there's plenty of hot women who have the same A-cup breast mass as I do, any brow or trach shaving is a personal decision, and hair removal is paid for by thousands of non-trans people every day. Two transwomen in my shooting groups roll their eyes at the new breed of demanders - they paid for all of their own work!

I'm in the enviable position of being in excellent health, mostly by NOT not eating McFood or taking up drugs, smoking or drinking, and staying active. I have one wardrobe, containing bits appropriate to all genders. That's not an issue, as most womenfolk these days dress like guys or in *gag* jammies, capris, or crocs. I and most of my tranny peers look male, only long-haired and far better put-together. I don't hold with being only one-or-the-other, and manage to do my daily life looking like a fugly woman or an obvious male-in-a-frock. As you can expect, when I push the concept of us all being trees in the same forest, ire is raised and feeble catholic guilt trips ensue.

I agree with some who say the government's need for "gatekeeper" professionals such as psychiatrists is an impediment to gender reassignment. However, as with any human endeavour, if you want to upgrade on tax dollars, then you have to spend that time. I see people spending good coin on breast augmentation; at the same time, I worked in hell for a couple of years to upgrade to a very good rifle. Different strokes; my biggest issue with all this is the tunnel vision that says TS needs overarch the greater needs of the community. A good pal's wife needs a liver transplant; she's not whining, milady needs a new hip and toughs it out (wait lists and parts availability) - I feel either of these is more important than taxpayer-funded transitioning. Of course, if this is a serious focus of your life, perhaps you need to consider circumventing the government sponsorship and pay for it all yourself!
 

Samhain 2015: Something from Gender Fun's Amnesia Sparkles, a well-known makeover artist.

I perform MTF makeover Transformations and often times the girls get cold feet before coming over to my studio for the first time. Later they book me again and finally make it to my studio for a transformation. They feel terrible for canceling on me but they explain that they experience a great deal of SHAME AND FEAR preventing them from keeping their appointment. Many of my girls have never come out to anyone about their crossdressing. I'm the first person they allow themselves to be their femme self with. I'm honored. I also understand the shame they've felt in the past. BUT I WILL SAY THIS, that "Shame" is not yours to have. That shame is a cultural and societal virus imposed by individuals that are threatened by folk that have the COURAGE to explore all facets of oneself. It takes time to find that courage. As for that "Shame," it has no place in your life ANY MORE! LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO. Dressing in femme hurts no one.
 

March 2016: I always enjoy my friend Bunny Yanak's writing, and I do concur with her points.

Pretty tired of hearing that "my brain doesn't match my body." Or that I "suffer from a birth defect." Because that's supposed to be a better explanation than that maybe our society just needs to stop shoe-horning people into gender identities based only on what is between their legs. Because I guess it's easier for me to just go to the doctor and get myself all cut-up and have my plumbing rearranged to make you more comfortable with me, than it is for you to open your fucking minds. I don't have a birth defect. My brain is just fine with my body. The only thing my brain has a problem with are your simplistic, childish conceptions of sex and gender.
 

May 2016:

So now the liberal do-gooders of the world are fighting for trans rights too. A plethora of "How To Be A Trans Ally" op-ed pieces list various politically-correct bits of indoctrination for those who can't figure it out. Though most of these writers get one or two points right, such as "Trans is when gender identity doesn't match birth identity", I'd say this empowers teen and twentyish trans people to be rude and insistent about minutiae, while setting back sympathy for our cause. "Offensive" is a reflection of the person offended, not the lack of sensitivity on the speaker. Someone gets a pronoun wrong, walk away, or laugh, or tease them about it.

I could go on and on, but here's my take: Get dressed, get pretty. Now go out, walk, shop, interact with family, friends, even coworkers if that's your thing. Be who you are, hopefully pleasant and friendly. Be prepared for the sub-class of human who will go out of its way to jeer at any person who's Different, and take that abuse and/or praise like a grownup.

Any trans person, and this definitely includes crossdressers and transsexuals, is best served by the attitude that we're "gender enhanced" rather than suffering from malady or delusion. I so despise the term "dysphoric" because it makes what we do seem dysfunctional - and that is simply NOT the case. You don't have to fight for or with us against oppressors, show any sympathy on our "plight" (I call it gender euphoria) or even approve of us - just accept us.
 

November 2016:

I've avoided any commentary on the Yank political action happening over the last few months. But. Obnoxious liberals are bullying their way into having people who clearly AREN'T homophobic, racist, transphobic, sexist, whatever, do sissy bullshit to avoid offending others. The winner is a goof and too bad he got voted in, but when people get sick of being told what to say and how to think by others, they push back on those who want to establish their superiority by displaying how liberal they are.

When all the non-racist, non-misogynist, non-homophobic, non-bigoted, everyday ordinary people get so sick of you calling them racists, misogynists, homophobes and bigots, that they go out and vote against your candidate, do you: A. Reevaluate your personal conduct and strategy of convincing people to share your politics? - OR - B. Call them racists, misogynists, homophobes and bigots, and yell at them even more?

You still don't get it. You riot, attack people, call them names - all because someone won an election, and you can't see that your behaviour is the reason he got elected. People are tired of you overly-sensitive liberal infants throwing temper tantrums and getting your way. People are tired of BLM being praised when it's just a racist hate movement. People are tired of not being able to say or do anything without someone getting offended and trying to send a lynch mob after them. This affects me directly as a trans person; so many people walk on pins&needles wondering how to address me so as not to offend, they're dying from liberalitis.

Your BS got old real fast and people are finally realizing how bad it got. They didn't want a leader who would bow down to the Politically Correct any more. Blame yourselves for being so insufferably liberal that people saw this as their only option to stop what you started. People aren't racist, or sexist, or whatever other buzzword you want to throw around, they just got sick and tired of the sissification of our society.
 

February 2017: Distressing realities.

Noting Toronto Pride's kowtowing to BLMTO, a minority contributor, trashing their party last year, it's entirely apparent that left-wing breastbeating (and ensuing polemic) is blinding many to knee-jerk support of untenable policies. A presence at a mainstream event like Pride is a privilege, not a stick to bully others into doing a group's bidding, as these middle-class student activists did.

Yes, police are utterly necessary. I almost hear the "oppressed minorities" with their fear. But seriously, cops are on duty to keep creeps from making things worse. And I see too many commentators carefully ignoring a salient fact: that those who fear cops generally have something illegal to hide. Could be there's a warrant out, could be you're carrying, could be you want to do something nasty. The hullabaloo over shootings mentioned also ignores facts: these deaths were of people committing violent crime or threatening LEOs.

It's just as distressing to see white, cis, heteronormative and privileged youths trashing their amerikkkan world with impunity these days, without the same repercussions, but - overall, the less aggro you get, the less you'll be targeted by the authorites. As a part-aboriginal, trans, laissez-faire Alberta tradesman, MY PRIDE INCLUDES POLICE.
 

May 2017:

Blaire White just posted on her page: "Every trans person I've met has had some sort of mental illness outside of just being trans that has made it impossible to remain their friend." Within my own circles, I see alcoholism, overuse of X and fentanyl, self-absorption, virtue signaling, and a concerted effort to ignore real-world, mainstream mindset.

I personally feel it's a gang of straight people, with no experience with a drugged body, unaware that if you take any drug, your mind will be affected. Loudmouth Panas, and several other Illusions alumni who went to the dark side, have regularly exhibited exactly these symptoms.

I wish I could sympathize, but all you folks, who have no experience with the harsh realities of drug use, need to be more skeptical of your doctors' advice. I happily admit my years of weed use, and yes, I've tried everything at least once. Drugs change you, and very often not for the better, but you have to constantly be aware that your mental state will be changed because of it!

Alcohol doesn't help? Or the mighty F? Most of the M2F HRT medicines prescribed are synthetic (yes yes, I know about the "natural" ones like what you get from pregnant mares; that has a high risk of user stroke). What I'm getting at is, the side-effects displayed by my trans peers using these drugs are sharply defined and predictable. It hurts to see my pals dropping onto a particular mindset, common with those individuals I recognize as disturbed.

Then again, biological evolution is a slower process than the psychoactive end of things - some interesting sci-fi from Gibson and Sterling illustrates that. There's a cabal of moneymakers pushing any form of "scientific" quackery, but the biggest problem is: nobody can tell you exactly how those drugs interact. All I can go by is watching and doing pattern recognition.

My old pal Candas Jane Dorsey last night pointed out the cyclic nature of dependency trends over the last few decades, and indeed I see the present minority-interest claims of victimization (reinforced by politically-correct bullying) and offloading of responsibility to government. Meanwhile the corporate profiteers are laughing every time they look at the bottom line.
 

September 2017:

I joined in on the local provincial UCP constituency meeting, electing the new board from the Conservative and Wildrose parties. Nobody batted an eye at the tranny in their midst, though Sandra, board director in hot purple heels, took me aside to discuss the present New Democrat GSA and trans policies.

I found we all agree that the government has no business legislating this sort of thing, as parents aren't the close-minded bigots that clueless liberals insist they are. On the flip side, agreed by all, is that it's not the teacher's job to snitch on their students, unless the kids are being disruptive. Perhaps NOT making this silly smokescreen the issue it has become, is the issue.

Lovely being in a room full of people already sick of the nanny state!


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"Decadence has been given a bad name throughout history. The truth is, there is never a better era in which to be alive than a decadent one. The food is good, the liquor flows, women are usually willing, and somebody else is fighting the wars. It's invariably the next generation that has to pick up the bill." - Jack McDevitt